When I was reviewing my options for university I found that there was no "pre-med" program (or at least, no program that would confess to being a pre-med program). I didn't clue into the fact that one can apply to Medicine with any background so long as the prerequisite courses are taken. In hindsight, I should have continued to apply to Engineering but I didn't know it at the time.
One particular program grabbed my attention: Arts&Science at McMaster University. It wasn't so much the program's description that caught my eye but its entrance requirements: 60 spots requiring an average of over 90% to apply. Having attended a Gifted program in Scarborough I really valued small class sizes. It also seemed to be the perfect degree for an overachiever who has no clue what he wants to do. It was an interdisciplinary degree combining liberal arts and science courses and it also gave you the option of doing a double major. It was only later that I found out it actually had a pretty good reputation among applicants as a pre-med program as well.
Fast Forward 5 years to 1998 which was the year I graduated with a combined ArtsSci and Biochemistry degree. The most profound thing I learned during those 5 years was this: people enroll in Bachelor of Science degrees to prepare for graduate degrees which in turn prepares them for a career in research. (Y'know that Rod Stewart song where he sings I wish - that - I knew what I know now when I was younger....)
Now, I really do enjoy research and the challenge of it but only in small doses -- I guess my attention span was too limited plus the thought of living from grant-to-grant didn't appeal to me. Also, I faced the stereotypical challenge facing liberal arts types -- what do I do with this degree? Don't get me wrong -- English was one of my favourite high school courses and the liberal arts courses really rounded out my education and taught me some vital skills. However, for most students of the Humanities there's no clear career path when you finish your degree unlike, say, Engineering.
I had written the MCAT the year before and also applied to southern Ontario med schools only to be rejected by every single one. I didn't have much reason to be more optimistic for my second go around and so I found myself in the same situation as 5 years ago -- degree in hand but not sure what to do next.
During the latter years of my Bachelor degree I saw one of my friends and roommates go through his applying-to-Medicine ordeal. Like myself he applied to university with the goal of getting into Med school. He chose Biology because he thought that was the best way to get in. He also had tons of family pressure on him: as I recall, he promised his grandfather he would "do his best" but "Trying is not good enough, you must get in" was the reply. Unfortunately, he couldn't get competitive MCAT scores and his grades were not competitive either. At the end he was quite devastated when he realized he didn't have a chance at getting in. He also suffered the double whammy of realizing that he didn't like Biology at all -- he had just wasted the last 5 years of his life. Fortunately, he applied to a Computer Science degree and was able to get advanced credit which enabled him to finish in 2 years. Realizing that I could wind up in the exact same situation I resolved to develop a backup plan which I would forcefully produce for my father should things not work out; I did not want to waste any more of my life pursuing something that I could not achieve.
I told my father about this friend's experience as a tale of caution lest he make the same mistake with my sisters (he tried pressuring one of them into medicine and when she refused he tried pressuring her into computer engineering). He replied that my friend's parents had obviously erred in pushing my friend into medicine when he was clearly not capable of getting in. His reply annoyed me because a) what the heck did my dad know about my friend and his parents and b) it implied that my father still had the paternalistic arrogance of knowing what's best for his children and he clearly was not going to screw up.
So before graduation I not only applied to all the medical schools in Canada but also to Computer Engineering. And not just to any university but Waterloo University which arguably has one of the best reputations in the country for Engineering. If I failed to get into Medicine a second time I could turn to my Dad and say "See! I tried and I couldn't do it so I'm going into Engineering". Admittedly, I wasn't sure if I was going to get in -- not only was it competitive but I was no longer a high school student. But, I put 5 years worth of liberal arts-honed writing skills into the application and also sent my high school transcript proving my overachievement in the maths and sciences. I was quite surprised and ecstatic when the acceptance letter came in the mail during the summer of 1998.
But alas, that was short-lived and it was replaced next week with a dilemma -- I received an acceptance letter from a medical school. And then a second. And then a third. And so another fork in the road appeared but unlike 5 years earlier this one felt different. I was 22 and I instinctively knew that I had to latch on to something because it's going to get harder and harder to change course once I became older. Also, I had a very attractive and viable alternative to Medicine -- the dot com boom was in full flight at the time and a Waterloo degree would be my ticket in.
So, what did I do? I went to my Dad and asked him what he thought I should do. He very predictably replied "Choose Medicine".
And here I am.
Did I truly have a choice in the matter? Was I merely seeking confirmation for something that was predetermined? Was I foolishly hoping for my father to cave in and let me decide? Was I trying to please my father?
I'm reluctant to overanalyze what happened but if you read the previous blog entry you can probably understand the pretext and subtext of what was going on.
Next entry: Anesthesia School
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Flashback: Chinese Parenting 101
I find I still have mixed feelings with regard to the way I was raised. On one side is the traditional Chinese approach to child rearing and on the other is the classic western ideal of self-determination. On the one hand I don't want to criticize my father for what he's done because, quite frankly, things turned out fairly well for me and I can understand his rationale. On the other hand I do feel some bitterness toward him because of a sense of a lost childhood, missed opportunities, and fundamentally flawed assumptions and priorities. It's not my intention to harshly criticize my father because until the day that I have kids of my own I can't say I've earned the right. Also, it's unrealistic to expect a perfect parent. Nonetheless, it is very clear that I won't raise my kids the way I was raised.
My dad once explained to me the Chinese approach to child rearing: like a gardener correcting a plant that won't grow straight the Chinese parent is obligated to correct any perceived faults in a young child. (All the docs out there may recognize this picture from a classic orthopedic textbook). The equivalent modern term would be "hyper-parenting" although I wouldn't say that my dad went to that extreme. However, I've always grown up with the sense that any decision, no matter how small, required the assessment and approval of my father. Indeed, he would often give me his opinion and what he felt I should do never minding the fact that he might not have the knowledge or experience to do so.
For example, I've often been envious of my classmates who were able to play musical instruments and took music lessons. I've always assumed I wasn't offered the opportunity because money was tight when I was younger but I was quite shocked when my father told me the real reason: "I just knew that you wouldn't like music". No only did "Dad know best" but "Dad knows without even bothering to ask you"!
In a similar vein, obedience was also emphasized and enforced (sometimes with corporal punishment). The concept of respect and obedience towards authority figures is Confucian in origin and underpins the social and familial dynamics of the Chinese -- your elders are to be revered and obeyed and to do otherwise is a major social faux pas. There's nothing quite like watching a traditional Chinese parent get really worked up over a minor issue involving a disobedient child.
Thirdly, among the Chinese it is considered a parental duty to ensure that their children get good jobs. Whoever said "everybody wants a doctor in the family" must have been Chinese. If I was unemployed and on welfare not only would my father have to worry about his retirement years but he would lose face in society and be criticized for raising such a useless son. In addition, my father has often been critical of my friends who would switch fields or careers; he still believes in the notion that when you finish school you should stay in the same field or job for the rest of your life. To switch tracks is to waste precious time in his eyes and so it is of vital importance that you figure out what you want to do early in life. And yes, if you're young and don't have a clue what it is you want then your parents are more than happy to choose for you...
My father grew up during the Cultural Revolution and experienced the famine of the Great Leap Forward so I can see where he's coming from; during those times if you didn't have a job and you weren't bringing home the bread then you and your family starved. Whether or not you liked your job or had a fulfilling career became a moot point. If my siblings and I ever responded to one of his career "suggestions" with "I don't think I'll like it" then he would respond with the frustration-invoking phrase: "You'll learn to like it".
While I do not have any a priori objections to all this, the main problem that I see is that all children grow up and at some point in time you need to start treating them like adults so that they can actually become adults. My father told me that only in China can you have an 80 year old man talking to his 60 year old son like a 6 year old child: "Did you brush your teeth this morning? Make sure you chew your food properly. Eat lots of vegetables! I know you don't like vegetables. Be careful when crossing the street!". Indeed, you will forever be their child. I read somewhere that "children will only achieve their full potential after their parents have died". Although disturbing I think there's more than an ounce of truth in that saying.
The transition to adulthood was somewhat blurry in my life and it wasn't until I was in university that it finally dawned on me that I shouldn't let my father micromanage my life. My father was very fortunate in that I was very non-rebellious during my teenage years and he had an easy ride. The turning point happened in 2nd year university when he told me he didn't think karate was a good workout and he wanted me to drop it. I not only realized that my father can be wrong but that he shouldn't be dictating my extracurricular activities and it was high time I started making decisions for myself. (The fact that I lived an hour down the highway and did not have to suffer his disapproval also helped).
Unfortunately, this perhaps was too little too late. I remember when I was around 8 years old I was walking out of the local convenience store. There was a middle-aged guy wearing jeans and a jean jacket who started talking to me. He asked me to follow him....and I did. (So much for not talking to strangers...). He led me to a bar across the street, went inside, and he ordered a drink. I sat down at the bar and after a minute I finally realized I should not be doing this and I ran out the door. Even now in my 30's I find myself very uncomfortable with challenging or defying authority -- if a senior doctor told me to do something I would be less likely to think critically about it.
And so to this day I can't shake the feeling that I've lost something important in childhood. The critics of hyper-parenting are bemoaning the loss of spontaneity, creativity, and self-discovery that comes with growing up. Also, hovering parents are preventing children from making mistakes and learning from their mistakes. (We fall so that we can learn how to get up -- Batman Begins). The critical flaw of this style of parenting is this -- what if you're wrong? Are you prepared for the consequences of your child growing up and realizing that everything you told them to do was a big mistake?
If you were to ask my father "why medicine?" he would answer in the following way:
The human body is constant. Unlike computer science where there's always something new every year the body never changes and so your knowledge never gets dated. Also, unlike in computer science, in medicine the older you get, the more experience you get, the more prestige you accrue, and the more valued you are. As a doctor you will be amongst the community's most valued and respected people. I heard of a doctor who in his 80's tried to retire but his community needed him so much that they prevented him from doing it!
I think all the doctors out there would agree that things aren't as rosy for doctors anymore and that this is merely a romantic vision of a profession which may be becoming less and less common. The long years in training, sleepless nights, angry patients, and stressful situations can and have made many doctors quite miserable.
And so, what are the consequences of my father's actions? I'm currently going through a period of turmoil over my career and my choices. And while I'm not miserable, I'm not sure I'm happy either and so there's a real risk that I may come to resent my father's influence on my life. (He denies having ever pressured me into Medicine which irks me to no end). In my eyes, he has lost a lot of credibility as a mentor and adviser which is why I haven't spoken to him about this in great detail and I've grown increasingly resistant to all forms of advice he may have (e.g. marriage). Although he means well, I no longer feel he has my best interests at heart largely because I don't think he knows me as well as he thinks.
While I'm sure such emotions and angst can happen to anybody who's switching careers, it's usually not directed at a specific person. I think this is the price that parents will pay if they try to exert too much influence on their children. So, I for one won't pressure my kids into any particular career. (Except I might discourage them from entering Medicine -- but only a little!).
Before I finish this entry I want to emphasize that I don't want this to be seen as a repudiation of my father. As I said earlier, I could be doing much worse. Also, as my boss points out, I won't truly understand until I have kids of my own. But for now, I just need some space without my dad trying too hard to get involved.
Next entry: Fork in the Road 2 and Anesthesia School
My dad once explained to me the Chinese approach to child rearing: like a gardener correcting a plant that won't grow straight the Chinese parent is obligated to correct any perceived faults in a young child. (All the docs out there may recognize this picture from a classic orthopedic textbook). The equivalent modern term would be "hyper-parenting" although I wouldn't say that my dad went to that extreme. However, I've always grown up with the sense that any decision, no matter how small, required the assessment and approval of my father. Indeed, he would often give me his opinion and what he felt I should do never minding the fact that he might not have the knowledge or experience to do so.
For example, I've often been envious of my classmates who were able to play musical instruments and took music lessons. I've always assumed I wasn't offered the opportunity because money was tight when I was younger but I was quite shocked when my father told me the real reason: "I just knew that you wouldn't like music". No only did "Dad know best" but "Dad knows without even bothering to ask you"!
In a similar vein, obedience was also emphasized and enforced (sometimes with corporal punishment). The concept of respect and obedience towards authority figures is Confucian in origin and underpins the social and familial dynamics of the Chinese -- your elders are to be revered and obeyed and to do otherwise is a major social faux pas. There's nothing quite like watching a traditional Chinese parent get really worked up over a minor issue involving a disobedient child.
Thirdly, among the Chinese it is considered a parental duty to ensure that their children get good jobs. Whoever said "everybody wants a doctor in the family" must have been Chinese. If I was unemployed and on welfare not only would my father have to worry about his retirement years but he would lose face in society and be criticized for raising such a useless son. In addition, my father has often been critical of my friends who would switch fields or careers; he still believes in the notion that when you finish school you should stay in the same field or job for the rest of your life. To switch tracks is to waste precious time in his eyes and so it is of vital importance that you figure out what you want to do early in life. And yes, if you're young and don't have a clue what it is you want then your parents are more than happy to choose for you...
My father grew up during the Cultural Revolution and experienced the famine of the Great Leap Forward so I can see where he's coming from; during those times if you didn't have a job and you weren't bringing home the bread then you and your family starved. Whether or not you liked your job or had a fulfilling career became a moot point. If my siblings and I ever responded to one of his career "suggestions" with "I don't think I'll like it" then he would respond with the frustration-invoking phrase: "You'll learn to like it".
While I do not have any a priori objections to all this, the main problem that I see is that all children grow up and at some point in time you need to start treating them like adults so that they can actually become adults. My father told me that only in China can you have an 80 year old man talking to his 60 year old son like a 6 year old child: "Did you brush your teeth this morning? Make sure you chew your food properly. Eat lots of vegetables! I know you don't like vegetables. Be careful when crossing the street!". Indeed, you will forever be their child. I read somewhere that "children will only achieve their full potential after their parents have died". Although disturbing I think there's more than an ounce of truth in that saying.
The transition to adulthood was somewhat blurry in my life and it wasn't until I was in university that it finally dawned on me that I shouldn't let my father micromanage my life. My father was very fortunate in that I was very non-rebellious during my teenage years and he had an easy ride. The turning point happened in 2nd year university when he told me he didn't think karate was a good workout and he wanted me to drop it. I not only realized that my father can be wrong but that he shouldn't be dictating my extracurricular activities and it was high time I started making decisions for myself. (The fact that I lived an hour down the highway and did not have to suffer his disapproval also helped).
Unfortunately, this perhaps was too little too late. I remember when I was around 8 years old I was walking out of the local convenience store. There was a middle-aged guy wearing jeans and a jean jacket who started talking to me. He asked me to follow him....and I did. (So much for not talking to strangers...). He led me to a bar across the street, went inside, and he ordered a drink. I sat down at the bar and after a minute I finally realized I should not be doing this and I ran out the door. Even now in my 30's I find myself very uncomfortable with challenging or defying authority -- if a senior doctor told me to do something I would be less likely to think critically about it.
And so to this day I can't shake the feeling that I've lost something important in childhood. The critics of hyper-parenting are bemoaning the loss of spontaneity, creativity, and self-discovery that comes with growing up. Also, hovering parents are preventing children from making mistakes and learning from their mistakes. (We fall so that we can learn how to get up -- Batman Begins). The critical flaw of this style of parenting is this -- what if you're wrong? Are you prepared for the consequences of your child growing up and realizing that everything you told them to do was a big mistake?
If you were to ask my father "why medicine?" he would answer in the following way:
The human body is constant. Unlike computer science where there's always something new every year the body never changes and so your knowledge never gets dated. Also, unlike in computer science, in medicine the older you get, the more experience you get, the more prestige you accrue, and the more valued you are. As a doctor you will be amongst the community's most valued and respected people. I heard of a doctor who in his 80's tried to retire but his community needed him so much that they prevented him from doing it!
I think all the doctors out there would agree that things aren't as rosy for doctors anymore and that this is merely a romantic vision of a profession which may be becoming less and less common. The long years in training, sleepless nights, angry patients, and stressful situations can and have made many doctors quite miserable.
And so, what are the consequences of my father's actions? I'm currently going through a period of turmoil over my career and my choices. And while I'm not miserable, I'm not sure I'm happy either and so there's a real risk that I may come to resent my father's influence on my life. (He denies having ever pressured me into Medicine which irks me to no end). In my eyes, he has lost a lot of credibility as a mentor and adviser which is why I haven't spoken to him about this in great detail and I've grown increasingly resistant to all forms of advice he may have (e.g. marriage). Although he means well, I no longer feel he has my best interests at heart largely because I don't think he knows me as well as he thinks.
While I'm sure such emotions and angst can happen to anybody who's switching careers, it's usually not directed at a specific person. I think this is the price that parents will pay if they try to exert too much influence on their children. So, I for one won't pressure my kids into any particular career. (Except I might discourage them from entering Medicine -- but only a little!).
Before I finish this entry I want to emphasize that I don't want this to be seen as a repudiation of my father. As I said earlier, I could be doing much worse. Also, as my boss points out, I won't truly understand until I have kids of my own. But for now, I just need some space without my dad trying too hard to get involved.
Next entry: Fork in the Road 2 and Anesthesia School
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Flashback: The First Fork in the Road
It was late 1992 and Canada was still in the midst of an economic recession. I was in Grade 12 and, having fast-tracked to a 4 year high school diploma, it was time for me to decide my future. Like many academic overachievers I did not have any problem in finding things that I liked but rather in choosing one specific field. I remember submitting a number of those career questionnaires where a computer spits out what it thinks is best for you. I also remember being just as clueless after reading the results.
So, with the OUAC (Ontario Universities Application Center) form in front me and no master plan I tried to figure out what I wanted to do. I had completed 8 OACs (Ontario Academic Credit - Gr. 13 courses): 3 maths, 3 sciences, English, and French. "The Chinese 6-pack" was the somewhat derisive high school moniker for taking all the maths and sciences but I think few people realize how many doors are open for you in university. With the exception of the arts or creativity based programs where a portfolio was required (e.g. architecture) I had a hard time finding anything I wasn't able to apply for.
But my aptitude clearly lay towards the maths and sciences although English was my favourite course. Science and Engineering were the obvious choices and I had my eye on something computer related in particular. I also wasn't interested in going out-of-province or very far from Toronto for that matter. So, I applied for a mix of engineering programs at U of T, McMaster, and Queen's.
My Dad came into my room at this point and asked what I was doing. I told him I was deciding on which universities to apply to and that I was applying for Engineering. He thought for a moment and then said "I know somebody in Engineering, he couldn't find a job so he's fixing elevators for a living. I don't want you to be an Engineer. I want you to be a doctor".
And so with that, I tore up the OUAC application, grabbed a fresh one, and tried to figure out what I had to do to get into medicine.
Next: Etiologies and the Second Fork in the Road
So, with the OUAC (Ontario Universities Application Center) form in front me and no master plan I tried to figure out what I wanted to do. I had completed 8 OACs (Ontario Academic Credit - Gr. 13 courses): 3 maths, 3 sciences, English, and French. "The Chinese 6-pack" was the somewhat derisive high school moniker for taking all the maths and sciences but I think few people realize how many doors are open for you in university. With the exception of the arts or creativity based programs where a portfolio was required (e.g. architecture) I had a hard time finding anything I wasn't able to apply for.
But my aptitude clearly lay towards the maths and sciences although English was my favourite course. Science and Engineering were the obvious choices and I had my eye on something computer related in particular. I also wasn't interested in going out-of-province or very far from Toronto for that matter. So, I applied for a mix of engineering programs at U of T, McMaster, and Queen's.
My Dad came into my room at this point and asked what I was doing. I told him I was deciding on which universities to apply to and that I was applying for Engineering. He thought for a moment and then said "I know somebody in Engineering, he couldn't find a job so he's fixing elevators for a living. I don't want you to be an Engineer. I want you to be a doctor".
And so with that, I tore up the OUAC application, grabbed a fresh one, and tried to figure out what I had to do to get into medicine.
Next: Etiologies and the Second Fork in the Road
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Acclimatization
I know I haven't posted in a week so I'll cobble together what has happened so far.
I'm taking my time settling in and also reverting to old (bad) habits. I'm definitely a creature of habit so even though I'm falling into the same old routines it has resulted in a fairly easy transition so far.
The packing/moving company was super-efficient with my things. So much so that for a day or two I thought I was missing some relatively valuable items -- my computer LCD display and 2 large audio speakers. It turns out that they had stuffed them into a bookshelf which was subsequently wrapped up in cardboard. As they say, the last place anybody thinks to look is right under their nose...
Unpacking is much more painful than packing. So much so that 10 days after arriving I still have open boxes lying around. Well, I better stop being lazy and try to finish the move-in this weekend. Otherwise, I'm fairly happy with my new digs. Some of the other docs wrinkled their noses or grimaced when I told them I was staying at the "Orphanage". My boss in particular is encouraging me to live it up since I'm on staff now. Little do they know that this 2-bedroom is for me quite luxurious and I'll probably not be using the other rooms very much at all.
As for my first week at work, well, this slower pace is definitely going to take some getting used to. I think I've learned to be impatient after 6 years of residency in Toronto. Whenever there's a delay it bothers me for a brief moment until I realize that there'll be plenty of time for coffee breaks, lunch, and much chit chat with my colleagues and the OR staff. Oh, and I will also be finished around 2pm. Working without time pressure is something I haven't experienced for a long time so this is something to savour.
The downside is that should I ever return to a more hectic, community hospital I will have lost some efficiency and time management skills. A bigger concern of mine is whether I can stay sharp at this slower pace. I have been assured that I will see all manner of things here in St. Anthony: trauma, burns, myotonic dystrophy, etc. As the old cliche goes: if you stay long enough in one place, the world will come to your door. Nonetheless, we were just told that a 4th anesthetist will be arriving later this week. We were puzzling over this decision since we are now clearly surgeon-limited and with only 2 ORs per day max (some days only one OR) there doesn't seem to be enough work for everybody. Apparently, the decision was made at the regional level and the idea is to have an extra anesthetist who can back up the remote communities should they lose their anesthetist (which is fairly common). While I worry that I'll be twiddling my thumbs far too much for my own good, I've also been assured that once summer is over this place can get awful busy awful fast.
I am also becoming acquainted with the other docs and I've even been invited out to a few dinners. Everybody has been nice and supportive so far and the camaraderie here is definitely higher than what you might find at a large academic hospital. It's us versus the harsh reality of working in a remote area in a small province. I was briefly reminded of that reality last week when I had a mildly hypoxic lady in emerg and I realized that our old CT scanner wasn't able to detect pulmonary embolisms. (We ultimately had to send her to St. John's). But, fortunately, St. Anthony is a tertiary referral center for Labrador and northern Newfoundland and things are slowly changing. The CT scanner will be upgraded later this year, we're expecting one of our ancient Excel anesthesia machines to be replaced (its gas analyzer is intermittently failing), and we'll be getting a GlideScope. Woo hoo!
The only thing I really haven't done yet is to really get to know the community. In fact, I haven't wandered far beyond the hospital or my apartment just yet. The hospital VP commented that the doctors coming through here generally fall into two groups: those who keep to themselves and only work in the hospital to those who are completely involved with the community. I know I tend toward the former but I'll try to move towards the latter. It's definitely going to be quite a shock shifting from the anonymity of living in Toronto to the if-you-sneeze-everyone-will-know feel of the small town.
A family doc told me this story and I'm not sure whether to laugh or to be afraid. He drove down to Corner Brook which was 5 hours away and bought a microwave at Wal-Mart. No sooner had he arrived back in town than people started asking him how his microwave was working! (Apparently, a St. Anthonian saw him loading his microwave into his car in the parking lot and the news just spread....)
Well, I'm not on call this weekend and I think I'll take advantage of it by doing one of many drives down to Corner Brook. Even though I could be thrifty and watch TV through my computer monitor I think I'll splurge a little bit and get a proper flat screen TV. On the other hand, since there's a good chance I'll be moving again in a year I'm not going to go crazy with a huge one either. I'll probably get a 32" model that I can easily transport back to Ontario. In addition to watching a movie I'll probaby be on the hunt for some restaurants. The Chinese restaurant in town leaves much to be desired although it will (barely) satisfy me after a week of eating hospital food. Corner Brook has two Chinese restaurants I think so I'll be checking them out (hopefully one of them has dim sum).
Sorry, still no photos! We're expecting a cruise ship next week and, if the weather is nice, I'll try to snap some pictures of it and the town. I'll also try to hike the trails up the hills surrounding the town as well. The weather so far is typical St. Anthony -- cloudy, somewhat wet, and cool with temperatures in the teens. I'm not a huge fan of hot sticky summers so I don't mind wearing long clothes but I would like to see more sunshine.
I'm taking my time settling in and also reverting to old (bad) habits. I'm definitely a creature of habit so even though I'm falling into the same old routines it has resulted in a fairly easy transition so far.
The packing/moving company was super-efficient with my things. So much so that for a day or two I thought I was missing some relatively valuable items -- my computer LCD display and 2 large audio speakers. It turns out that they had stuffed them into a bookshelf which was subsequently wrapped up in cardboard. As they say, the last place anybody thinks to look is right under their nose...
Unpacking is much more painful than packing. So much so that 10 days after arriving I still have open boxes lying around. Well, I better stop being lazy and try to finish the move-in this weekend. Otherwise, I'm fairly happy with my new digs. Some of the other docs wrinkled their noses or grimaced when I told them I was staying at the "Orphanage". My boss in particular is encouraging me to live it up since I'm on staff now. Little do they know that this 2-bedroom is for me quite luxurious and I'll probably not be using the other rooms very much at all.
As for my first week at work, well, this slower pace is definitely going to take some getting used to. I think I've learned to be impatient after 6 years of residency in Toronto. Whenever there's a delay it bothers me for a brief moment until I realize that there'll be plenty of time for coffee breaks, lunch, and much chit chat with my colleagues and the OR staff. Oh, and I will also be finished around 2pm. Working without time pressure is something I haven't experienced for a long time so this is something to savour.
The downside is that should I ever return to a more hectic, community hospital I will have lost some efficiency and time management skills. A bigger concern of mine is whether I can stay sharp at this slower pace. I have been assured that I will see all manner of things here in St. Anthony: trauma, burns, myotonic dystrophy, etc. As the old cliche goes: if you stay long enough in one place, the world will come to your door. Nonetheless, we were just told that a 4th anesthetist will be arriving later this week. We were puzzling over this decision since we are now clearly surgeon-limited and with only 2 ORs per day max (some days only one OR) there doesn't seem to be enough work for everybody. Apparently, the decision was made at the regional level and the idea is to have an extra anesthetist who can back up the remote communities should they lose their anesthetist (which is fairly common). While I worry that I'll be twiddling my thumbs far too much for my own good, I've also been assured that once summer is over this place can get awful busy awful fast.
I am also becoming acquainted with the other docs and I've even been invited out to a few dinners. Everybody has been nice and supportive so far and the camaraderie here is definitely higher than what you might find at a large academic hospital. It's us versus the harsh reality of working in a remote area in a small province. I was briefly reminded of that reality last week when I had a mildly hypoxic lady in emerg and I realized that our old CT scanner wasn't able to detect pulmonary embolisms. (We ultimately had to send her to St. John's). But, fortunately, St. Anthony is a tertiary referral center for Labrador and northern Newfoundland and things are slowly changing. The CT scanner will be upgraded later this year, we're expecting one of our ancient Excel anesthesia machines to be replaced (its gas analyzer is intermittently failing), and we'll be getting a GlideScope. Woo hoo!
The only thing I really haven't done yet is to really get to know the community. In fact, I haven't wandered far beyond the hospital or my apartment just yet. The hospital VP commented that the doctors coming through here generally fall into two groups: those who keep to themselves and only work in the hospital to those who are completely involved with the community. I know I tend toward the former but I'll try to move towards the latter. It's definitely going to be quite a shock shifting from the anonymity of living in Toronto to the if-you-sneeze-everyone-will-know feel of the small town.
A family doc told me this story and I'm not sure whether to laugh or to be afraid. He drove down to Corner Brook which was 5 hours away and bought a microwave at Wal-Mart. No sooner had he arrived back in town than people started asking him how his microwave was working! (Apparently, a St. Anthonian saw him loading his microwave into his car in the parking lot and the news just spread....)
Well, I'm not on call this weekend and I think I'll take advantage of it by doing one of many drives down to Corner Brook. Even though I could be thrifty and watch TV through my computer monitor I think I'll splurge a little bit and get a proper flat screen TV. On the other hand, since there's a good chance I'll be moving again in a year I'm not going to go crazy with a huge one either. I'll probably get a 32" model that I can easily transport back to Ontario. In addition to watching a movie I'll probaby be on the hunt for some restaurants. The Chinese restaurant in town leaves much to be desired although it will (barely) satisfy me after a week of eating hospital food. Corner Brook has two Chinese restaurants I think so I'll be checking them out (hopefully one of them has dim sum).
Sorry, still no photos! We're expecting a cruise ship next week and, if the weather is nice, I'll try to snap some pictures of it and the town. I'll also try to hike the trails up the hills surrounding the town as well. The weather so far is typical St. Anthony -- cloudy, somewhat wet, and cool with temperatures in the teens. I'm not a huge fan of hot sticky summers so I don't mind wearing long clothes but I would like to see more sunshine.
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